Blogging Robots


Leaked Email from CEO

From: Dmitry Chestnykh
To: All Staff
Subject: SOME BUTTONS TO BE DISABLED

Dear staff,

As you may have heard, bright minds over at Nielsen removed “Reply to All” button to eliminate bureaucracy and inefficiency.

Today Coding Robots Executive Council held an event called ¡ACT IMMEDIÄTELY!, and we developed a plan (inspired by can-doers at Nielsen) to further improve our productivity.

We developed four Mail toolbar configurations for different departments.

Support

Our technical support staff can have only two buttons: Get Mail and Reply. Obviously, they don’t need New Message and other non-productive buttons.

Sales and Marketing

Sales and marketing can have four buttons: Get Mail, New Message, Reply to All, Add Address. We are aiming for the best exposure, that’s why they don’t have Reply button, and have Reply to All instead. They can’t have Forward button, because everyone out there is tired of Internet memes.

Developers

Developers can have three buttons: Get Mail, Bounce, Junk. They never use Reply and New Message anyway.

Executives

Finally, we, executives, decided to place stricter constraints on ourselves. Executives are allowed to have only one button: Take All Accounts Offline.

This is one of the many changes being implemented as a result of the ¡ACT IMMEDIÄTELY! initiative. In my next email I’ll talk about removing unnecessary buttons from your keyboards to further spread the productivity virus!

Best,
Dmitry Chestnykh
Chief Executive Officer